"I tell people I'm a humorist if they laugh - if they don 't laugh, I'm a motivational speaker!"

"I use humor in every presentation- to gain and hold attention, and to illustrate valuable points about interpersonal relationships, team work, customer service and the other important things I talk about."

"After a presentation for telephone employees, one of them came up to me and said, 'You almost scared me to death !' 'How's that ?', I replied. 'Ahh' he said, 'they bring somebody in here every year to try to motivate us, and you almost done it!'"

"I am not a comedian- I do not tell dirty jokes. A comedian merely entertains. A humorists uses humor to deliver a message."

"I am a chicken— I do not pick on anyone except myself."

"Humor reaches people on an emotional level, and most of us make our most important decisions when our emotions are engaged."

- Bryan Townsend